Ingels en die boer

[Christo]

As die bewoording ongepas is moet een van doe moderators dit maar afhaal. Ek dink in die ligteluim sal dit seker nie aanstoot laat neem nie.

The difficulty of being bilingual
A Boer goes to see an English speaking lawyer in order to start divorce
proceedings. The lawyer asks him, "May I help you?" The Boer says, "Ja. I would like to have a divorce." The lawyer asks him, "Do you have any grounds?" The Boer says, "Ja. I got 600 hektyres." The lawyer says, "Sir, you don't understand. Do you have a suit? The Boer says, "Ja. Of course I got a suit. I wore it to church on
Sundays." The lawyer says, "Ahmm. No, what I mean sir, is, do you have a case?" The Boer says proudly, "Now let me tell you, that are not good trackers.
I got two John Deeres." The lawyer is beginning to sweat. "Sir. Do you have a grudge?" The Boer's also a bit irritated by now. "Ja. I of course I got a grudge.
That's where I park the bakkie." The lawyer, sighing, asks, "Does your wife beat you up or something?" The Boer says, "No, we both get up at 04:30." By now the lawyer is getting really frustrated, but tries one last
question. "Does your wife nag? Is she a nagger?" The Boer says, "No, SHE'S white. But our last child is a nagger. That's
why I wants to get a divorce."

[Kruger]

Sorry Britsman en Mac21, net 'n grap, niks persoonliks nie.

It is 1899 and General Edward Fatbottom and his 1000 English troops are riding through the bush looking for the Boers.

All of a sudden this raggedy scruffy individual jumps up from his seat on a koppie. He yells down to the English, "Hey Soutie, come up here so I can kick your arse. Or go back to England you bunch of useless fairies."

So the General loses his temper at this impudent Boer and tells his 2IC to send 10 men up to sort him out.

Off go the English, a huge commotion breaks out, dust clouds and hair flies. After about 2 minutes the Boer comes back out into sight dusting himself off with his hat. "Is that all you have?", he shouts down. "Go back to England you pansies. Here you will just get beaten like the women that you are!"

So the General sends another 30 men up to silence this loud mouth for once and for all. Again with the dust clouds, loud shouting and swearing. Cries for help. Eventually it quietens down and the Boer once again emerges. His shirt torn, hat askew...
"Is that it? Do you want me to come down there and kick ALL of your arses at once? You lot are pathetic!" he shouts.

Losing it completely the General orders a 100 men up the koppie! "Come back with his head or don't come back at all!" he screams.

This time a monstrous noise erupts, clods of earth and rocks fly through the air. Trees are uprooted! Pieces of uniform fly through the air! Then, one Brit troopie comes crawling over the hill. All ragged and bloody!

"Its a trap!!" he yells, "Its a trap!! There are two of them!!!"

[Louis102]

Ek wonder of die volgende groot veldslag nie dalk in Middelburg/Burgersdorp se omgewing mag wees nie?  Moet nou nie dat die Britsmanne en Mac's die bordjies verhang nie!