Oupa en SARS

[Louis Kriel]

Delete maar as hy al op was.

Die ontvanger besluit om ‘n oudit op Oupa te doen en dagvaar hom om die belastingkantoor te besoek. Die ouditeur was glad nie verras toe Oupa se prokureur hom vergesel nie. Die ouditeur sê, “Wel meneer, u het ‘n uitspattige lewenstyl en geen voltydse betrekking nie, wat u verklaar deur te beweer u wen baie geld met dobbel. Die belastingkantoor vind dit nie geloofwaardig nie”

Ek is ‘n goeie dobbelaar en ek kan dit bewys sê Oupa. Wat van ‘n demonstrasie? Huiwerig sê die ouditeur, Nou maar goed. Oupa sê, Ek wed jou ‘n duisend Rand ek kan my eie oog byt. Die ouditeur dink ‘n oomblik. Dis ‘n weddenskap. Oupa haal sy glasoog uit en byt dit, tot onsteltenis van die ouditeur. Nou wed ek jou twee duisend Rand ek kan my ander oog ook byt. Die ouditeur kan sien Oupa is nie blind nie, so hy neem die weddenskap. Oupa haal sy valstande uit en byt sy ander oog. Die verstomde ouditeur besef hy het pas drie duisend Rand verloor met Oupa se prokureur as getuie, en hy raak senuagtig. Wat van dubbel of niks? vra Oupa. Ek wed jou ses duisend Rand dat ek dié kant van jou lessenaar kan staan en in die snippermandjie aan die anderkant kan piepie sonder om ‘n druppel tussenin te mors.

Die ouditeur is nou baie versigtig, maar hy bekyk die ou man en besluit daar is nie ‘n manier wat hy so iets gaan regkry nie, en hy stem in. Oupa gaan staan langs die lessenaar, kreun en steun van inspanning maar hy kan nie die straal oor die lessenaar kry nie en piepie die hele lessenaar papnat. Die ouditeur spring van blydskap toe hy besef hy het ‘n verlies in ‘n reuse wins omskep. Oupa se prokureur laat sak sy kop al kermend in sy hande.

Is alles reg? vra die ouditeur. Nee sê die prokureur, vanoggend het Oupa vir my gesê hy is gedagvaar vir ‘n oudit, en toe wed hy my vyf en twintig duisend Rand hy sal jou hele lessenaar nat pis en jy sal verheug wees daaroor!

[ruaanb]

lmga

[JDKey]

[baas]

Slim man daai.

[DWB]

Puik!

[DawieKotze]

Hierdie is amper dieselfde..........(ek het dit in engels gekry en is nie lus om te vertaal nie)

A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank.

She tells the bank president that she has accumulated several hundred thousand dollars over the years and would like to open a trust in the bank.

The president is curious, so he asks her, "Where did you get all this money?" The old lady replies, "I make bets."

The president then asks, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman says, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughs the president, "That's ridiculous -- you can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenges, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady says, "OK. I'll bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10 a.m. as a witness, and we'll see."

The next morning, the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. "OK," she says, "Time to drop your pants and settle this bet."

The president complies. The little old lady peers closely at his balls and asks if she could feel them. "Well, OK," says the bank president, "since there's so much money on the line."

Just then, the lawyer starts banging his head against the wall. The president asks the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replies, "I bet him $50,000 that at 10 a.m. today, I'd have the president of the Bank of Canada's balls in my hand.

[koos 2]

PUIK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[koos 2]

PUIK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Basie2]

Don't underestimate the knowledge and tenacity of the elderly!